This week's Hillsborough Beacon editorial, partly about Money Magazine's ranking of Hillsborough as the country's 23rd best place to live, made me think about some of the towns and cities that will never be on that list. And unlike the editor of the Beacon, I think a town's leaders, and effectiveness of the government, can make the difference between being included on the list or not.
Yes it is true that Money Magazine likes to highlight as many towns as possible by having very different lists each year. A town may be ranked highly one year, and not be on the list at all the next. But it still remains true that there are some towns that will never be on that list, in any year. And of all the miserable rotten towns I can think of on this stormy night, I keep coming back to just one.
The municipality I'm speaking of sure has its share of problems. First of all, there is a housing crisis. Not a shortage, or a problem with a slumping real estate market - this is more of a building code problem. A house fell recently and a woman was killed. The woman's sister is blaming the current occupant of the house, but I believe a terrible storm played a role in the tragedy.
Which brings us to our second problem: crime. Particularly crime scene investigation - there is none. Absolutely no forensic evidence is taken, and there is no one in the lab - leaving the pompous coroner to issue death certificates practically on the spot!
There is also currently a problem with one of the labor unions in town. The rank and file are obviously frustrated by their current contract, and have been seen walking around town kicking at the ground with disgusted smirks on their faces.
At least the union employees have jobs. The town is not business friendly at all, with a dearth of retail shopping. A grown woman and a teenage girl were seen fighting over a pair of red shoes - right in the street.
And speaking of streets, there are only two decent roads out of town, the red one and the yellow one. The yellow one is the major highway which can take you to the city, but it is also the town's parade route. Talk about a traffic nightmare. This is one town that really could use a bypass!
But the most serious problem in town is a medical condition that afflicts nearly all of the residents. Maybe it's something in the water, but no one in town is much taller than 3 feet 6 inches. And we're worried about a little mercury.
Is it any wonder that the voters in this mayor-council form of government have recently recalled their rotund mayor? After all, it is reported that he spent most of his day reading proclamations, creating holidays, and sculpting busts for the local hall of fame.
Let's hope he doesn't show up in Hillsborough looking for a spot on our new town council - that is sure to put us out of the top 100!
Maybe if we just keep repeating "there's no place like home, there's no place like home".
Would That Be
ReplyDeleteHoofin's - Glennborough?
A place were one of the folks responsible for recommending a new government form is so antiquated he still calls black people colored?
A place where a self proclaimed very busy and oh so important Charter Study Commissioner take his easel and walks out of Commission meetings upset that things aren’t going his way?
A place so rich they propose spending $22,600 of taxpayers’ money on Check Feed, and the town doesn’t even own any Chickens?
Is this the place that creates many mile long No Parking Zones, and calls them Bike Lanes with “viewshed” destroying signs 50 feet?
Is this the place that begs for Commercial Development to off-set residential taxes and then when commercial development occurs in a known Brown Field --- COMPLAINS about the development?
Or maybe the same place that really does need some good clean commercial development to off set it’s residents taxes, but turns around an charges little start-up businesses hundreds of dollars for each tree they cut down to build their buildings?
A place that literally has miles and miles of no taxpayer cost open space, but still makes its people pay an Open Space Tax.
A place were additional sanitary sewers being run to existing homes is highly resented by those already on sewers?
You are right Greg. Let's hope he doesn't show up in Hillsborough looking for a spot on our new town council or maybe even the mayor.
But DBC - you love to boast that we were ranked # 23! Certainly all the reasons you just listed were taken into consideration when Money Magazine decided to bestow this honor upon us!
ReplyDeleteBTW, very cute, Grag - good imagination! How is Toto these days?
ReplyDeleteNo Way
ReplyDeleteIf Money Magazine had insight to even one CSC meeting, we would have been Chicken Feed!
I bet that made you smile, even if it was just for a millisecond.
Who's DBC?
08844, your comments were a little bit "over the rainbow", but I'll accept them as being in the spirit of this blog topic, which was meant to be mostly fun!
ReplyDeleteI understand Patten's take on the 23 ranking, but I still feel that it is a nice accomplishment that everyone who contributes to the town can take credit for. And there are still some towns that will never make that list.
What I want to know is, would we rank above or below the Emerald City? I hear they have a very strong mayor - all powerful, in fact.
Patten’s Comments
ReplyDeleteSould have fallen under the Thumper Rule. You know, If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
Why diminish the wonderful honor bestowed on the town? We should celebrate such and as far as I’m concerned we should add signage to all of our “Welcome to Hillsborough Road Signs,” that says – Hillsborough, the 23 best small town in America according to Money Magazine.
I agree with you that the honor came because of a collective effort of all, including the folks I poked a little fun at. Yes they are part of us too!