01 April 2009

"I Am a Gray American"


Corzine Apologizes for Being a Flip-Flopper

Acknowledges "Large Mistakes"

Trenton - April 1, 2009. Governor Jon Corzine released a statement today in which he apologized to the public for his frequent indecision. Spokesperson April Furst said, "The governor wanted a chance to explain why he has so often changed course without yet finding the right direction for our state."

The following is an excerpt from the governor's press release.

"Throughout my life, I have grappled with my own identity as a directionless flip-flopper. Even as a child, I could never choose between grilled cheese or peanut butter and jelly. In retrospect, I should have had the tuna.

I have continually sought answers that I cannot find. Since I became governor, I have been like a rudderless ship adrift on a sea of bad decisions. Each attempted course correction has been another wrong turn.

At a point in every person's life, one has to look deeply into the rear-view mirror of one's soul. I know now that my mistakes have been larger than they appear.

My inability to see even the simplest issue in black and white has brought me to a realization.

And so my truth is that I am a gray American. Let me be clear, I accept total and full responsibility for my inactions. As I write this today, April 1, 2009, I tell you that I am truly sorry, no joke."

Or is it?

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