25 May 2008

Wii Can't Drive

My kids have been playing Mario Kart for the Wii. Now, THIS is a driving game with its own rules. You race around crazy tracks, maneuver past all kinds of obstacles, and throw nasty objects at the other racers in an attempt to disable them.

The first time I tried the game, I just concentrated on driving. Big mistake. You can't possibly win by following the normal driving rules. I should have known that - after all, I've been driving in New Jersey for almost three decades!

New Jersey motorists don't know how to drive. That's the finding of the 2008 GMAC Insurance National Drivers Test. Apparently we don't know the basic driving rules - and what we don't know put us in 51st place in the ranking of states. Yes, we couldn't even beat D.C.!

There's really only one explanation for this. New Jersey autoists make their own rules. And as long as everyone plays along, we're fine. You just have to be consistent, like the umpire with the wide strike zone, or the basketball ref that let's 'em "play on".

Just like in Mario Kart, as long as we avoid the flying turtle shells and explosive whatsits, we'll get to the finish line just fine!

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